Drinking to Yorrick - an aside.

Alas, poor Yorrick, I knew him well ... well ... alas would be too strong a way of putting it. Yon Yorrick is a villain of the first order of villainy and I hate him ... HATE HIM!

Yorrick, I warned you forsooth, that if thou shouldst persist in thy knavery most foule, I would be obliged to indulge in my most precious fairy dust drink from thy very own cranial cavity.

As you will behold from the photographs above, I acquired your skull and dipped it in chocolate to make you sweeter and then jazzed it up with sparkles to make you cheerier ... of course, it didn't work. I could fill you with the spleens of the happiest smiling happy people in the world and it wouldn't make a world of difference to your sour demeanour! ... That said, I think that my handiwork is befitting, in spite of your vile grumpy tendencies. I always said a bit of sparkle would improve any vampiric fable a million-fold but you would not listen, would you? I am fed up with all those people who say that sparkling is only for morons. I can sparkle and now, so do you!

... Well ... you did anyway!

Let this be a lesson, lest you seek to comment on my attire again! I have shopped in the courts of finery and my taste is beyond all reproach, especially yours, you horrid spectral critic-wannabe. My prestigious memoirs are not your own personal gossip column, you repulsive little scab!

As I implied before, I have supped from the nectar of the Absinthe flower, having poured its gelatinous contents into your cranium. The evidence is clear to behold. 

Yorrick, you always said I was a mug ... I think the hat is on the other head now ... so to speak!

Club Yorrickana, drinks are free ... fun and sunshine ... oh yeah ... bugger ... moonshine ...

Now cease your irritating ramblings or I shall use you as my chamber pot! 

Ha!

My apologies, dear readers, but frankly, this delight was long overdue. Yorrick has much to answer for, I perceive that he hath portrayed me most foully and he hath paid the price ... now Yorrick can speak no more ... nor chew .. nor drink ... nor kiss ... not that anyone would have been desirous of kissing that old mug anyway.

Alas ... I must bid you adieu from this Carribbean pseudo paradise ... The red mist grows thick before me and I must attend an exclusive event this evening.

Be good, my darlings ... I won't!

Yours, 

Eddie.